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inhumation office

Discworld room help

inhumation office


inhumation office - Allows playerkillers to place contracts on each other, and lets assassins view them and collect payment for completed jobs.


request contract on <playername>
request warning contract for <playername>
confirm contract on <playername>
submit message for <playername>
collect [payment]
view book, view listings, review contracts, etc.
list [available NPCs]
donate <money>

Player contracts

There are several distinct phases to requesting a contract on another player through the Assassins' Guild. The first step is to 'request' the contract at any branch office of the Guild. Your request will be processed; once a decision has been reached on whether the contract was accepted and how much it will cost, you will be informed.

"Warning" contracts will cost considerably less than a "full-service" contract requested on the same person. The only difference between a full contract and a warning contract is that, with a warning contract, the client will not lose a life.

Full contracts are considerably more costly if the client has very few lives remaining at the time of contract valuation.

After you have received confirmation of the price, you can go to any branch office and pay the cost of the contract in the appropriate local currency using the 'confirm' command.

A player who has not requested the contract in question can still pay it, assuming they have enough money to cover the contract plus a surcharge. Please note, however: If you do not have sufficient funds, you will not be told that there is a contract on that player.

Once a contract has been paid, you may submit a special message for your intended client, which will be printed on the receipt they receive when they are inhumed. You may also choose to reveal your name to your client if you so choose; please note that if you do not specifically indicate that you wish your name to be revealed, you will remain anonymous.

A contract is only active for a limited period of time. If that time expires, the person who paid the contract will receive a mail indicating that they have a refund waiting for them, which they can 'collect' at any branch office. The collect command is also used by graduated assassins to claim their wages from completed jobs. There is a service fee associated with expired contracts; you will not get the full amount back.

Viewing the contract listings

If you have graduated from the guild, you can view the currently active contracts. The command to do this will vary from office to office. You may have to ask the secretary, or you may simply have to view the book.

All graduated assassins can view the book; however, you must meet several additional criteria before you are allowed to view or close contracts on other PKs. Those criteria are: (1) You must be at least Guild Level 175, (2) You must be at least 10 days old, (3) You must have closed at least 4 (NPC) contracts, (4) You must be considered an active player.

NPC contracts

Any player, PK or non-PK, may request and pay for a contract on a selected list of NPCs. That list is available in all public Guild offices by typing "list". Please use the entry in the "tag" column to request NPC contracts.


Any player may choose to make a donation to the Assassins' Guild Benevolent Fund. This money will be used to fund NPC contracts for graduated assassins to close. Use the command "donate" to donate a specific number of coins (in the denomination of the Guild you are in) into the Guild coffers. Note that for any one donation, all the coins must be from one money area, IE Ankh-Morpork, Lancre.


If you commit a crime against the guild (stealing on guild grounds, killing Guild NPCs, possibly other actions), you will earn a "special" contract which will cost you a life, and can be closed by NPC assassins or by specially-appointed PK Guild Enforcers.

Only playerkillers may request contracts, and only playerkillers may be the target of contracts from other players (Non-PKs can still earn special contracts).

Assassins may request and pay for contracts, but will not be allowed to close a contract which they themselves have been involved in. It is considered cheating to try to circumvent this rule.

Assassins can not place contracts on each other. Attempting to circumvent this rule is also considered cheating.

Disavowed assassins are denied access to the contract system. The Guildmaster may also deny access to the contract system for any player at his or her discretion. Guess what? Cheating if you try to get around this one, too.

Any player found to be using the contract system with intent to harass can expect to have a brief and painful chat with Admin.


Requesting a contract:
> request contract on shirke
> request warning contract for shirke

Paying for a contract:
> confirm contract on shirke

Customizing the message:
> submit message for shirke

Collecting refunds or wages:
> collect payment

Making a donation:
> donate 128 pence and 34 dollars

Viewing a price list of NPCs:
> list

See also